GP 2...

written by Just K

In our last installment of Guilty Pleasures, we learned that it was ok to enjoy music that wasn’t necessarily up to our lyrical standards as long as we could vibe to it somehow. Remember, I didn’t tell you to download the ringtone or buy the album for one song. Just don’t feel pressured to turn the station if your head is nodding.

Today, we identify the source of our inner struggle. Why does it hurt us to sing along to the chorus when the verses are craptacular? Why do we love the beat, but force ourselves to turn off the radio as a show of allegiance to “real lyricists?”

Well, the answer lies in suppressed guilt.

The truth is when we were younger we listened to different versions of the same whack songs we hear on the radio now. It’s a painful trip down memory lane with each path leading towards whackness, but I’ll start where it all began for me. Damn you, Kris Kross.

Ok, Kris Kross had the closest spelling to my first name that I had ever seen dudes have. Every other Kris was a girl. I was sold off that alone. Everything else was a bonus. They were young, they had their own style (including the cuts in the eyebrow), and they made songs I could relate to at that age. Sound like anybody we know today? Moving along - it was hard as hell to go to the bathroom wearing my clothes like that, but I was willing to sacrifice for the sake of coolness. Furthermore, it taught me amazing bladder control. Kris Kross could do no wrong. And you know what? Wearing my clothes backwards was all sorts of dumb and the music wasn’t that good, but it was there and I loved it.

Was Tootsie Roll truly a work of art? Going a little further back, was The Humpty Dance really a lyrical masterpiece? There are no words to properly describe the supreme whackness that was Da Dip by Freak Nasty (yup, that was his name), but I was still getting my dip on. As for the phenomenon known as copycat syndrome, there is actually a “Whoomp! (There It Is)” and a “Whoot, There It Is.” People were trying to create replicas of a formula even back then.

We had guilty pleasures when we were younger. We just weren’t old enough to feel guilty for listening to them. So don’t knock the youngsters for enjoying less than profound music. After all, we were them not too long ago. And if you happen to find yourself rocking to a song that sounds like it was written by Dr. Seuss, it’s ok. Don’t fight the feeling. I mean, you have been here before.

Intervention over.