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The Great White Hope
written by Doesn't Matt R'

Everybody have a good day today? Good. Me too. Last night—I won’t even try to put it into words. Plenty of things are going to be written about the events of 11/4/08. I don’t need to add my two cents in. So back to hip-hop.

This holiday season looks like it will be a historical month for hip-hop releases. I pray to Jam Master Jay that Dr. Dre drops alread-ay (I didn’t plan how that sentence was going but by the time I got to the end of it, I couldn’t help myself). And Eminem is coming around again. Okay, so I lied. I’m going to tie this in to the presidential election. Our first black President. I’m down. I don’t care that Obama is black. He would have had my vote anyway. But it’s clear enough that it is this man’s time and it’s about time that we got over all this racism and sexism and let the right person lead, at the right time, regardless of physical appearance.

But as a white diehard fan of hip-hop, will I ever get my Obama moment? If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, well then you just haven’t been paying attention. A white rapper will some day be the hottest M.C. in the game. And I don’t mean like underground, backpack, illest flow but no deal. I mean Jigga man, music mogul, King of the game.

Now I know what you are saying. It’s obvious. Marshall Mathers. This is my election inspiration speaking, Gordo. The kid could obviously not forget about Eminem. Notice one paragraph earlier, Julius. The boy wonder calls himself a diehard fan. And a white one at that. What kind of a white fan would forget about the great white hope? I’ll tell you who. The kind of Johnson Rod, Johnny, who rocks Roc-A-Wear to the next Limp Bizkit reunion tour. But that’s not your faithful narrator, Newman. Slim Shady, my friends, is Colin Powell. Ya dig?

Here’s my P.O.V. on the sitch (point of view on the situation, Howard). Colin Powell was the most respected African American in politics after Gulf War I (from here on in GW I). That is until George Bush Jr. (GB 2, keep it moving, Kim) brought him into that whole yellow cake uranium ordeal back around Iraq 2, Electric Bugaloo. But for a short amount of time, Colin Pow was considering a run at the highest office in the land. He might not have won, but who knows. And what happens instead? CP3 goes AWOL. Gives the game back. Disappears to his mansion in Detroit, puts on a few lbs., and only comes out to give the occasional verse for Trick Trick. Oh, wait, Walter, that’s that other fellow that I’m confusing him with. Catch the connection?

Now Em is dropping again. Well his last effort left something to be desired. I mean it was hot, for a Weird Al Yankovic LP. So who will it be? A new day for America, is a new afternoon for the world, and a new evening for all of us to go out to the club and bounce to MC Alex P. Keaton, the hottest rapper in the game—white boy.