The Ski Mask Way...

Why Not Rob?
Written by Just K

If I go to the club and hear “Get Money” one more time while my pockets are on E, I might have to rob me a rapper.

I don’t actually advocate robbing, stick-ups, or violence at all (though I do have a friend who responds to “violence is not the answer” with “you’re just asking the wrong question”). But I also don’t encourage flaunting your revenue and bragging on your material possessions during a damn recession. Why do I want to hear about the gold seats and IMAX screen in your 2011 Bentley when I’m struggling to put gas in my Corolla? Should I be excited when you flick open your futuristic thought-activated cell phone in your music video when I had to cut the internet service from my cell phone package? You’ve got Jacob Bernstein-designed Louis Vuitton glasses and my kid has to sit so close to the front of the classroom he’s actually sitting behind the teacher. Damn.

Is the recession depressing? Hell yeah it is. But it’s real. Money is low, funds are tight, and jobs are scarce. Rap advertises itself as the voice box of the people. There aren’t enough songs on the radio (I can’t currently think of any) that accurately depict the hard times that people are currently going through. I’m seeing the broke people everyday. I’m just not hearing about it. The people ain’t popping champagne. The people are popping cans of sardines. The clothes, the jewelry, the cars, the frivolous spending of money on “jumpoffs” – it’s still all over the music. The representation of what’s going on in the real world, not so much. I guess the recession only affects us normal folks.

Actually, that’s not true. The gigantic chains that we’re so used to seeing aren’t what they used to be. It’s been widely reported that your favorite rappers have can’t afford those iced out pieces any more. They’re still coldish, but not iced out. The diamonds have been blended and mixed with cubic-zirconia for all of the look at less of the price. Cubic-zirconia. Yeah, the same stuff your girlfriend made you swear not to get her if you ever proposed. That’s what it’s come to? I mean, what happened to old school perpetrating? You know, when rappers lived in a shoebox of an apartment but had a big ole chain. You’re telling me the chain’s fake too? Damn, homey.

They brag and boast while we struggle and strain. It almost makes you want to snatch a chain off a rapper, but don’t do it. It’s probably not worth the trouble.