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Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Replacements...


Collabo Upgrades
written by Just K

Hollywood Divorce was the song where Lil’ Wayne detractors finally had to stop arguing that he couldn’t focus on a topic. Andre ripped it as usual. Big Boi did his thing. Ummm…Snoop Dogg, not so much. The Doggfather definitely phoned it in on that one. And you know how it goes with Weezy; for every classic verse he gives us, he gives us a complete dud. I don’t even think he phoned it in on Barry Bonds. I think that was a text performance.

When I listen to hip-hop collaborations, quite often I find myself thinking wow, that was perfect (a la Flava in Your Ear Remix or Triumph). Other times, I find myself mentally replacing an artist. “Don’t you ever get to thinking you’re irreplaceable.” Here is the Just K collabo upgrade list.

Hollywood Divorce

Lil’ Wayne, Andre 3000, Big Boi, Snoop Dogg Lupe Fiasco

“You played me like a game of football.” Yup, that line alone gets you yanked.

Fried Chicken

Nas, Busta Rhymes Common

I mean, Busta didn’t do a bad job. I just see Common doing a better job of maintaining the metaphor.

Ghetto Supastar

Pras Ghostface, Mya, Ol’ Dirty Bastard

Ghostface rapping about being a ghetto superstar, combined w/ ODB would’ve been an instant classic.

Run

Ghostface, Jadakiss Busta Rhymes

Jada just didn’t bring the proper energy to match Ghost. When has energy ever been a problem from Busta? Right.

Still Tippin’

Slim Thug, Mike Jones Bun B, Paul Wall Pimp C

Again, not bad. I just think UGK would’ve been nicer on it. Besides, without this song giving him a hit, we don’t have to hear Mike Jones’s name and phone number a million times.

Barry Bonds

Kanye West, Lil’ Wayne Ludacris

Southern king of metaphors vs. “I’m so cole like Keyshia’s family. Easy decision.

Bia Bia

Lil’ Jon, Ludacris, Too Short, Chyna White Rah Digga

I know a lot of southerners are going to disagree with this one, but homegirl added absolutely nothing to the track. She was just there. Digga’s got the voice for the track and she can actually spit. Can you really say the same about Chyna White?

Fantastic Four

Cam’ron, Big Pun, Noreaga Sticky Fingaz, Canibus

The East Coast almost at its finest. Why Sticky? I don’t know. Just a feeling I get. A grimy rapper over that grimy beat just seems right. The better question is why Nore? He was out of his league here, similar to the cipher with Canibus and DMX. (yeah, I took it there)

Fatty Girl

Ludacris, LL Cool J, Keith Murray Missy

Man, who the hell is Kathy Lee Curtis? Nobody could’ve stopped Keith before he named this non-existent celebrity? 187 Fools, I swear. Eh, get him outta there. I like Missy on this track in place of Keith. She does a decent job on party tracks and adding a female voice to male-dominated tracks.

I Shot Ya (Remix)

Keith Murray Method Man, Prodigy, Fat Joe, Foxy Brown, LL Cool J

Yup, the Keith Murray double play. He didn’t do a bad job; he just didn’t do a good job. Tical would’ve definitely handled the opening to this track. LL almost got snatched for mistaking cursing and yelling for dropping a hard verse. I mean, it’s his track so I let him live. Next time Uncle L…

By the way, how ill was Foxy on that joint? Damn.

So the next time you hear a collabo that needs work, don’t settle for whatever you hear. Just add a song to the list of Just K collabo upgrades. You too can jam with the right MC on the right song.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Somebody please take GLC out of the middle verse of Spaceship on Kanye's first album. That's the worst verse on the album.

JusWritin' said...

Hahahahahahahaha.....

You can't take Keith Murray off "Fatty Girl" - he created the phrase Badunkadunk.

I also wouldn't mess with "I Shot Ya (Remix)". I feel like you can get 7 years bad luck for it... don't touch classics lol

I kinda feel you on the Nore thing, but he's always out of his league but his energy on that joint is ridiculous... but again, i don't play with a classic.

I love how you took Mike Jones off his own song!!!!!!

on Bia Bia, i wouldn't have put Rah because I don't think she would have flowed well off that beat. I would have went with Eve.

Barry Bonds... hmmm... no comment. Kinda liked Weezy but I can't ever argue against Luda.

the Fried Chicken one might have been your best replacement. Although i do like Busta on it, Common would have done a better job.

Great F'n post!

Mr. Hutson said...

Wow. Eve on the Bia Bia joint. Tough. I was kind of thinking about Diamond, formerly of Crime Mob, but I love Digga's voice.

As for the classics, I'm definitely not afraid to touch those. I can dig when an artist ends up claiming a classic off the strength of all the other artists on the song. I just gotta avoid broken mirrors and black cats now.

But on the Fatty Girl joint, really though, Kathy Lee Curtis? I never saw her in Christmas with the Kranks or True Lies. That's almost as bad as Jay-Z's red and green pills.

No bull on that GLC verse.

JusWritin' said...

Message to the Rap Gods:

That was Just K saying that stuff about messing with classics not JusHH. I know our names sound alike and start with the same 3 letters but its the one with a K at the end that you want to strike.

Thank you,

JusHH

Mr. Hutson said...

Message to the Rap Gods:

(Channeling RZA) Whaddup Gods?

Notice Jus started his first response to this post with "hahahahahaha.." He was clearly amused by the replacements. If you're going to strike, don't strike me alone. Take Jus too. It's only right.

And take doesn't matt r for that matter as well for yanking someone off an arguably classic album. Again, it's only right.

And get GWiz for finding the picture and coming up with the tag line.

I'm not going down alone, son.

gWiz Musik said...

snitch...

what about taking Lil Jon off "Lovers and Friends" I know it's a R&B track but everything was going cool until

"I's been know you fo' a long time (shorty'),
But fuckin' never crossed my mind (shorty'),
But tonight, I seen sumthin' in ya (shorty),
That made me wanna get wit 'cha (shorta')"

Anonymous said...

If you're going to go that route, than please take Wycelf's verse off Shakira's Hips Don't Lie. Take him out of the video too, so I can watch Shakira's hips not lie to me for 4 minutes straight.

"Refugees run the seas cause we own our own boats..." C'mon

The hip-hop Gods can have me if they also agree to take Amil's six lines off "You, Me, Him & Her." Put on Bahamadia if you need a HER on that track. She has a less annoying voice and nicer flow.

Anonymous said...

Damn, I kinda like Lil' Jon on that Lovers and Friends joint... not sure why but I kinda do.

While we're at it... Let's take Fat Joe and Birdman off of the "I'm So Hood (Remix)" and replace them with T.I. and Bun-B

Anonymous said...

oh and replace DJ Khaled with silence. Yes, silence much better.

Mr. Hutson said...

Ya'll are hilarious. Word on Amil. I forgot she had all of 6 lines on that joint. She bummed it up on Pop 4 Roc as well (not that it was the greatest song anyways).

You can replace Birdman on almost any song except the Big Tymer joints. It'd be a little difficult considering all the bird calls on What Happened to That Boy, but we'll find a way.

And can we snatch Cassidy off his own 6 Minutes of Death and put Joe Budden on there? Man, Joey Jumpoff killed that joint.

Yup, and the 4,3,2,1 remix w/ Master P - so many choices. So many options. Almost anybody but Percy.

Mr. Hutson said...

Oh, and the funny thing about the Lil' Jon part is that it was the best and worst part of the song all at the same time. That's talent.

And who else is gonna be the beeeeessssst if not Khaled? lmao.

Stay tuned for the Just K awards next week.

Anonymous said...

Here's an even better one: Please take off RBX from Eminem's "Remember Me" and replace with Kool G Rap.

The potential for a classic is now there.

K Storm said...

Im sooo late and Im paying for it with all the comments I had to read.

Lil Jon on lovers and Friends.
I bought that album and listened to the entire thing because of that song. I was in love with URRRSHER.....but that song did something for me as a female. IDK if Jon added to it, Im sure I could have lived without "LET A N##GA KNOW BEFORE I PULL IT OUT"...but I didn't mind. TMI?

BARRY BONDS....LUDA WOULD HAVE KILLED IT. LUDA IS SOOO UNDER-RATED TO ME.

HAHAHAHAH BADUNKADUNK... I don't know if he created that term.... I cant trace its origin....but he gets credit for remixing the term BADUNK(NOUN) REFERING TO A HEALTHY RUMP .... WHICH LATER WAS SHORTENED TO DUNK...please correct me if Im wrong. Its all about learning here :-)

gWiz Musik said...

hahaha it is actually referred to as a "DONK" in the south

refer to Soulja Boy's "Donk"

"She got a Donk!
She got a Donk"

yea i just quoted Soulja

we call it Cake haha

and maybe TMI but its PTM so its all good